Irritable.  Cranky.  Ill tempered.  Old?

We often hear “crotchety old man or woman.”  Is that the destiny for ALL PEOPLE?  I see it all the time and it is one of my lifetime goals not to ever get that way.  Are they bored?  Is it engrained in the brain?  Are they going with the crowd?

Gossip and negativity and boredom and judgmental behavior can spread like wildfire.  However, the fire can stop with you.  Be the fire extinguisher.  Be the water.  Be something!  We all have bad days, but it’s only a day.  It’s not your life.  Wake up and smile and send out positive vibrations.

Pick up a new hobby.  Find your tribe.  Try a new food.  Try a new workout.  Do yoga.  Dance.  Take a walk in the sunshine.  Volunteer your time.  Smile at a stranger.  Step away from the crowd when something isn’t making you 1000% your best self.  It’s never too late…or too early.  

What is your tool to fight crotchetiness?

Whoopi Goldberg.  I peeped her on Harry Connick, Jr.’s talkshow briefly the other day talking about women.  She was talking about pms and cramps and it made me finish watching the segment.  She was talking about a product that I believe she has created to alleviate cramps…an all-natural topical cream or ointment of some kind.  Harry then asks “Well, can you describe the pain to me?”  She grins and the audience howls.  Picture your balls being pulled to the ground…Then stomped on…AND THEN rolled up into a rolling pin…she says.  He is speechless.

The days of my cramps being exactly like that are far gone, but the other symptoms are still there and it’s just dawned on me that I have more than PMS.  I believe I have PMDD.  I have thoughts of death.  I’m anxious, depressed, sad, angry.  Not fun!

Watching Whoopi gave a face to my feelings.  Women’s health is SO SO SO misunderstood.  Brushed off.  Looked at as dramatic.  Both by men and by women who have never experienced any of these things.  I have met these women and I am often jealous that they don’t have to deal with this.

So on today, INTERnational Women’s Day, I feel appreciated and I send my appreciation and love to ALL women on this planet Earth.  Be you.  All day.  Every day.  Your truth is a beacon of hope for other women.  Even if we all end up in the “period tent.”  I’m down!

Cheers!

SP 🙂

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
     Strength.
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
     Courage.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
     Integrity.
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?"
     Service.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
     Equality.
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."
     Love.
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
     Loyalty.
"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."
     Unity.
"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."
     Love.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
     Courage.

I'm glad we get a day to celebrate this man.  He embodies everything that I stand for.  I don't see the exterior when I look at people.  We all bleed the same.  We all cry.  We all smile.  We all love. We all fear.  We all are trying to navigate this crazy world.
 
Humanity, however, has a long way to go.  People are still persecuted based on religion, race, sex, sexual orientation.  You name a difference and people are discriminated for it.
 
Think for a minute.  What if we were all blind?  We would connect on a soul level and this world would be extraordinary.  Be extraordinary today and every day.
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Big Brother Big Sister (BBBS)  is a national organization that pairs “bigs” with “littles.”  What this means is that an adult is paired with a child between the ages of 6 and 18.  The “littles” come from backgrounds in which there is some type of situation that he or she may need a little bit of extra love.  Single parents are a huge portion of the members.  Parents in jail, behavioral issues, etc., also are some of the predicaments.  The organization’s vision is that all children achieve success in life.

I’ve been a mentor since 2010 with the same little girl, who is now 13.  She comes from a single parent, low-income home.  She was having anger issues at 7 years old and her mother knew something needed to be done to help her daughter.  She enrolled her in BBBS.  We had a sit down at her home, which happened to be five minutes from mine at the time, in April of 2010.  Pairs aren’t always from the same town so we lucked out.  It has made it easier to spend time together.

The organization’s only requirement (after screening each person of course) for the match is that we spend 6-10 hours a month together.  I was able to continue the match even when I moved to NYC because I’d come home to visit family and also fulfill that requirement.  I am back and have a new baby so I am also still able to fulfill the obligation.  The notion of building trust is important for these littles.  They have had so many adults fail in that department.  The organization makes it relatively easy to do this.

BBBS provides activities, a lot of them being free-of-charge, to the bigs and littles.  They also provide match support to make sure both are getting what they want out of the relationship.  A lot of matches don’t make it the five and half years that we have.  I’ve had a great match coordinator who has helped through any minor bumps over the years.  These 5 and half years have been such a blessing!

If any of you are looking for an opportunity to better a child’s life, please visit their website:  http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16/Home.htm

You can find your local chapter also on this site.

“Be Kind to One Another” -Ellen Degeneres

 

I decided to delete my Facebook account.  Permanently.  Yes, permanently.  Didn’t know you could do this?

Yes.  Yes, you can.  They just don’t make it an easy thing to find out how to do.

I got tired of seeing family doing things together, without me or my little family.  It’s always been that way so I don’t know why I get bothered, still.  I got tired of seeing so-called friends getting together with others, after failed attempts at trying to get together with us too.  Priorities, not busy as they say.  The friends I do have that are what I think of the real definition will be available by phone, or in person.  What a thought!

I am disgusted at the way social media has changed the way people have relationships.  So disgusted.  People need real contact.  Real people contact.  Facial expressions in real time, tones of voices, human touch.  I hope to teach my daughter what those are.

My boyfriend will stay on Facebook, so we are going to advertise my blog still through there.  He doesn’t get as bothered with it.  Maybe it’s a woman thing.  What else is new?  There are so many “woman things.”

If you’d like to know how to permanently delete your account and come back to the real world please shoot me a message or leave a comment.  You won’t regret it.  Maybe your house will even look cleaner.

Peace.

The story at the bottom and the pictures will evict any and all emotions out of your soul.  Get a tissue.  Get a whole box.

I can’t imagine my life without Phoenix.  I can’t imagine my life without her, yet having to go through everything else that goes along with having a baby.  The emotions must be crippling.  This woman has enough strength for all of us.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was stunned.  What?!  How the hell am I going to raise a baby?  What about labor?  Ouch!  Is he or she going to be alright?  I hope he or she has 10 fingers and toes.  I hope he or she is healthy.  I hope he or she sleeps.  I HOPE I SLEEP.  The thoughts running through my head were endless.  This woman’s journey helps to put a halt to the negative thoughts and allow you to revel in the fact that a new life will be the result of all these changes to body and mind.

I admit.  There are times when I long for my endless hours of sleep.  For a Sunday in bed, just watching Lifetime.  For a day where I don’t have to map out my shower, my hair, getting dressed, etc.  For a day that Phoenix’s daddy and I aren’t both so exhausted we barely talk to each other.

But then we look at her and we instantly perk up.  We instantly forget any reason to bicker.  We snatch her up and give her kiss sandwiches.  We see the sparkle in her eye and her beautiful smile when we smile at her.  We hear her giggle when daddy is bouncing her up and down on his belly.  We watch her sleep peacefully with her Simba or her sheep.

When they say you forget about all the nonsense when you look at your baby, they (whoever they are) are right.  But what if you have all the nonsense, but have no baby to look at?  It’s an emptiness that I don’t even think I can imagine.

I’d be a big ball of tears.  I’d need counseling.  I’d need 24/7 yoga, with tissues, with bouts of bawling seshes.  I’d find comfort knowing that my mother would be taking care of my baby, along with all the other babies gone so suddenly.  So, I say to you Natalie Morgan… Thank you.  Thank you for your reality check.  Eleanor is your angel.  But she is also OUR angel.

Please click on See More below in the Facebook post.

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A GoFundMe page has been set up for the couple and more than $10000 has been raised by 281 people in nine days so far.

The funds will aid the family in medical and hospital expenses.

There seem to be so many friends of mine and Brian that have either recently had babies, are soon to have babies, or…

Posted by Natalie Morgan on Monday, September 21, 2015

 

 

“Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment.”

Practicing mindfulness is imperative for our society.  Everyone is constantly on the go.  Work.  Kids’ activities.  More work.  More kids’ activities.  It’s easy to let time slip by and not check in to ourselves.

Checking-in will help to reduce stress by recognizing it and finding a solution.  The constant adrenaline rush will no doubt lead to a body crash.  To get out of that hole will require more than a “check-in.”

Meditation and yoga are good ways to practice mindfulness.  These can be 5 minutes to 105 minutes.  That’s the beauty of it.  It is easily adaptable to everyone’s situation.  Shoot.  Meditate on the toilet.  In the shower.  Those things are not easily avoided…. I hope.

Checking in means to ask yourself what it is you are feeling…good, bad, happy, sad, angry, anxious…you name it.  Then asking yourself if you know the cause.  You got a promising job, your cat died last night, you won the lotto (ahhhh… i know we all wish…), your sibling is clueless to her nasty behavior, you’re a new mom (ohemgeeee…hello anxiety).  The key now is to come to a calm place.

Stay in the now.  Realize you can only control YOUR behavior, no one else’s.  If needed, keep yourself away from certain people when they are acting up.  Don’t go crazy with your lottery winnings…. 😉               Set up a nice goodbye ceremony for your pet and keep a memento for you to have good memories.  Being sad is ok.  Love your child.  That’s really all you need to do.  BREATHE.

Yoga also gets your body moving, which gets the feel good serotonin flowing.  Why not kill two birds with one stone?  Stretch/tone your body and practice breathing, both which will make you feel at ease.  If you want to double the benefit…do it outside.  Nature is a wonderful natural mood booster.

Yoga teaches you how to delve into poses that may put a (healthy) strain on certain parts of the body, holding those poses, breathing through them, then letting go.  This transfers into your daily life right?  Learning how to hold yourself in a certain situation then letting it go.

It blows my mind that this “trend” of mindfulness is only recently gaining steam.  However, I guess it should be no surprise in a country where people “live to work” rather than “work to live.”  I’ve always known that if you aren’t ok emotionally, how in the hell are you suppose to produce quality work?  But, I guess I have always been an old soul too.

So I want you to take a break today.  Relax.  Recharge.  Even if it is on your only 30 minute break that you get within your 8 hour shift.  (Which is totally wrong and can be another post altogether).

Cheers to a productive week!  Make it count and if something has weighed on you for a while now…it’s time to shit or get off the pot.

 

….

LOVE

Lately I’ve had a lot of anxiety and sadness enter my head.  My mother died when I was 22.  We weren’t very close.  My extended family isn’t as close as I’d like it to be.

Parenting is hard for anyone.  I don’t have my mother around to help me.  It’s even harder.  But at the end of the day, like a few friends have told me, love is all you need.  To be a great parent.  A great friend.  A great sibling.  A great anything.

I jokingly say that if I have managed to keep my daughter alive each day, I’ve done my job.  She’s been alive now for 100 days.  100 days of success for us!

The amount of love I have for her cannot be put into words.  I tear up thinking about how much I want her to be exposed to all that life has to offer.  I want her to find her niche.  I want to bandage her scraped knees.  I want her to have a thirst for life like I do.  To know that the world is so big and she can see it if she so chooses.  I want her to meet other souls that make her feel at ease.  I want to talk about her good days and her bad days.  I want her to wake up each day with a smile and desire to make the world a better place.  I want to laugh with her and cry with her.

I panic sometimes when I think about not having a large support system.  But when I remember all I have to do is love her, I calm down.  I mean, how simple is that?!  This huge adventure of parenthood is balled up into one thing….LOVE.

 

 

Feeling what?  Anything.  It’s ok.

Society makes you feel like having feelings = having a mental disorder.  That’s crap!  It’s being human.

I’ve finally gotten to a point that I am okay with expressing whatever I am feeling.  And I appreciate people who also are okay with it.  Being sad does not equal being depressed.  Being able to smile at someone you can’t stand does not equal being bipolar.

Being women, we tend to feel more which makes men think we are crazy.  Don’t let them make you feel that way.  A real man will understand the different emotions and try to help you through them.

My mind is like a computer with way too many tabs open these days.  Sometimes I feel like crying because it’s so overwhelming.  Having to put on a happy face for my daughter is sometimes hard to do.  That just snowballs the overwhelming feeling.

Music helps a great deal.  If I could live in the radio, I would.  I’ve never been able to put my feelings on hold for any situation, including work.  I give props to those who can.

I have this weird sense that can detect how another person is feeling, most of the time.  I can tell when someone is or is not interested in a conversation.  When I call people out on it, the ones that get defensive are the ones that I’m not interested in dealing with anymore.  Clearly, they know they’ve been found out.

I like my alone time.  Partly because I’ve become accustomed to it and partly because it allows me to get through my emotional roller coaster on my own.  Anyone talking to me or trying to help sometimes doesn’t know how and that makes me want to scream.

I’ve never wanted to be in one place for a long time.  Putting roots somewhere actually gives me a bad feeling.  I need change.  I need new faces.  I need new air.  I need diversity.  I need new scenery.  I have a constant thirst to learn.

Whatever you are feeling today, FEEL IT.  There is nothing wrong with you.

<3 <3 <3  Peace.

 

 

I haven’t gotten a cavity filled in years.  But the sounds and smells and feels are something you never forget.

“Close your eyes and lean to the right”, the dentist says as his hand is behind his back.  I know he’s holding the gigantic needle that will numb my mouth.  Smart move, doc, smart move.  If I saw that thing, I might have run for the hills.

Thank heavens for the numbing gel that is applied prior to the needle.  I felt a bit of the pressure of the needle and I seriously thought the thing was going to go into my stomach.  Damn!

The drill sounds like the drill used to hack into cement.  And it’s just as loud.  Holy hell!  What are you digging?

The air sucker and the mounds of cotton he puts in the mouth make dry mouth as dry as you’ve ever felt.  Worse than after you smoke pot.  Worse than running miles without water.  It gives me the same shivery feeling that finger nails on a chalkboard give me.

I lay there, eyes closed, feet twitching, hands on the sides of my body, thinking “It’ll be over soon, It’ll be over soon.”  Moving my feet and hands as a way to bide my time and distract me.  He says “Are you ok?”  Yes.  Yes I am.  Thank you.

Yoga again working in my favor here.  Yoga teaches you to breathe through any pose that puts a (healthy) strain on your body.  Here I was breathing through the pain of dry mouth, drilling, and enormous needles.

I was in and out within 30 minutes…with a generous gift of a numb face.  Who says dentists have to be frightening?  Enter any situation with peace and stillness and you will more than likely get through it smoothly.